“Well, one truism my friend. When that jones come down, it'll be a muthafucka.”
-Savon Garriosn, Love Jones, 1997
Love is scary. Most artists, we romanticize it. We find muses, we wonder what it would be like to smell their skin, find out their favorite colors, touch them, hear their laugh, to really love them. Then, we don't. We are slightly obsessed with the tender longing that infatuation brings, but when the opportunity for real love presents itself, we choke. We find every excuse to run away. We bring up the Mary J Effect, the “I don't want my art to suffer”. We use (what I like to call) The Artist Facade, the excuse of focusing too much on me to lose myself in someone else. Then there’s my personal favorite, the Imaginary Love. The situation you made up in your head with someone (usually a celebrity or social media person) to keep you from falling for anyone else. Excuses are much easier than the truth: love is scary. The potential to being hurt is SCARY. Messing up what could be your real happiness? Scary. And we have to be ok with admitting it.That it's ok to be scared, what's not ok is ignoring love like the red headed step child. Love is scary, but it's also beautiful. Your art won't suffer if you find someone who loves your talent as much as they love you. You won't lose yourself as long as you both love yourselves just as much as you love each other. And that Imaginary love? THEY AREN'T REAL. Well, they're real but that relationship in your head isn't. What's real is vulnerability, what's real is muses that love you too, what's real is living and learning and loving and breaking that narrative that says artists only blossom from heartbreak and longing. Let love flourish, and your art will flourish too.